Of Moms and daughters

If there’s one relationship that’s as hot as fire, as cold as a glacier, as hard as a diamond and as soft as a petal, it’s this. This is the relationship that becomes the foundation of who we will become in life. When we are young, moms are the safe haven, the comfortable place we all want to go to. As we grow up that haven becomes constricting and we want to break out. A few years out and we want to go back in! 

As a mother of two most wonderful girls, I get it. I get why they want to go out and explore the world whereas I want to hold on to them for dear life! Even though I was never one to exploring much, I understand the world and the country that they are growing up in is much different than the one I grew up in. My maternal instinct needs to be reined in for them to make a life of their own:-) They just need to know that they can always come home no matter what life throws at them. 

And with age I’ve realized that we women and particularly women as moms, are meant to be superheroes, who can do anything, anytime. All you have to do is ask. But as I realized growing up, mom is not just mom. She’s also a wife, a daughter, a sister, a daughter in law. And she’s juggling all of that with so much precision. Society doesn’t cut us any slack for doing that but throws in more to juggle. And as masterful as we are, we keep going on! 

I hope my girls don’t feel the burden of being perfect in every role as our generation did and still does. I wish more women and especially moms would focus on their happiness and what makes them feel good. We need to unlearn what society has drummed in our heads. It’s good to be a little selfish! I always told my mom to love herself first and only then could she do justice to all her other relationships. And she got it, albeit a bit late, when she plunged herself in her writing. Something that was always there but in the background because of everything that was in the foreground! 

As women and as mothers, we owe it to our girls to give them the strength to love themselves and put themselves before everyone else. To not put too much on their shoulders and shrug off unnecessary demands and responsibilities. To choose not to give an explanation if they don’t feel like it. To stand up for themselves and tell people who bother them to back off. To be strong when it’s needed and be polite when that’s the requirement. To tell them that they are individuals not bound by societal expectations. To remember that Nature made them exactly the way they are supposed to be. No one size fits all! And most importantly to tell them that it’s perfectly ok to fail at things and it’s ok to mess up. We all did! 

Until later,
Cheerios