Distance in a time of crisis

I’ve read “Distance makes hearts grow fonder”, but I think it also makes your heart grow fearful and weaker. For all of us who are making a life for ourselves and our kids in a different country or anywhere away from families, this last year was something no one was prepared for. Family is something that’s in the back of our minds pretty much all of the time. But with this pandemic I really realized how helpless we are when we are away from our loved ones. How little control we actually have in things that matter.

The daily phone calls pleading our families to stay indoors and stay safe no matter what. Don’t meet anyone, don’t go anywhere, keep the mask on, hoping so badly that we could control the circumstances from so far away. Sending all the latest information and updates to keep them safe. The constant worry and panic with each passing day about things happening thousands of miles away? Or even things happening a few hundred miles away? It’s the idea of not being able to see our family and friends as and when we want to that made us even more desperate. The simple choice of taking a flight and seeing family became so distant. 

It put so many things into perspective which otherwise we would’ve been blind to. Don’t put anything on the back burner. Life may not give us any more chances. No material stuff can replace the family and friends, no matter how far. So many of us have lost family members and friends that we never got a chance to say goodbye to. One minute people were there and the next minute gone forever. How it started to become as a given whenever you’d meet people and ask about how things were. As someone who has lost both parents without ever getting to say goodbye, I know the pain and the hurt. And the constant pain that’ll follow for years to come. This pandemic maybe over in another year but the trauma will last for a long time for a lot of people.

There’s also the guilt of being in a country where things work, maybe slowly at first but eventually they do. All the while our families in India see no end in sight of this catastrophe and how things are so broken in a country of a billion people in crisis. How many times have we thought of sending something from here to help our families in this crisis. I know I hoped my family could come here and get vaccinated ASAP. Thankfully they did get it in India. But even now I wish they were out of India and with me at this point of time. Anything to keep them protected and in front of my eyes to ensure their health and well-being.

COVID taught us all a simple lesson, people matter! Nothing in your life will you miss more than the people who are part of it. And how gut wrenching it is to be far away from our loved ones in a time of crisis. Hearing about people losing multiple people in their families and knowing that it’s not done yet! You can send all the money in the world and all the equipment but the fear of losing someone never goes away. We never, ever feel the assurance that we have done enough to keep them safe. I hope we learn from this and remember how fleeting life really can be and hug our families and friends a little tighter whenever we see them next.